khusih ‘arwaju di suzaan
kanat tazhar fi almataeim thlath marrat ela alaql kl yawm. kan yakul fi alsabah , wayakul daymana eind alzuhr wayakul baed alzuhr. wakunt dayimaan min ‘ujib ealaa alkawintar. ‘iimaa li’anaha kanat tantazirni litaqdim talabaha , ‘aw eindama kan aleidad mmtlyana , ‘aw li’anani wajadat tariqatan li’akun mtahana laha eindama ra’aytuha qadimat. baed ‘an yatima taqdimuha , jalasat daymana ealaa tawilat hayth ‘aetadna ‘an naraa baeduna albaeda.
lm natahadath kthyrana li’an ‘ahadana daymana kan daymana fi eijlat min ‘amrih wmshghwlana jdana. ‘ana , ‘urkud fi mamarrat almarkaz altijarii litawsil altalabat eabr alhatif wahi takhdim aleumla’ fi almutajar aldhy taemal fih.
eindama astataet , mararat biruyatiha. fi tilk allahazat , kunt ‘utaki ealaa alnnafidhat wanatahadath ean hara’. lkn daymana lifatrat qasirat wnadrana ma yakun whydana. kan almtjr mmtlyana daymana ‘aw kan almalik hunak.
kunt ‘aelam ‘anaha kanat makhtuba. kan ladayha halqat maryiyat fi ‘iisbaeiha. lakanani lm ‘astatie ‘an ‘ankar ‘anana kunaa nataghazal libaed alwaqt. kanat ‘aeyununa ealaa haqin wawajad kl minhuma alakhar sryeana jdana. hardatni. ‘ana ‘uhibu almar’at alty tuhadiq , tanzur fi aleuyun , la tataradad ‘aw tahrub min nazrat malhata. hadaqat. nazarat fi aleywn. lm tatrak eayni ‘abadaan nem , ‘iinaha aimra’at waqihatun. muta’akid jiddaan mnk. ela alrghm mn ‘anah thabat ‘anah eaks dhlk tmamana balnsbt lmezm alftyat allaayiy eimalin fi almarkaz altijari. kanat jadat , kanat daymana latifat lakunaha lm tatrk mjalana lahum liyakunuu madhakin maeha. wakulama daeat aldarurat , jaeal tahalufah yanzur ‘iilayh min qabl alshakhs aldhy tahadath maeah. kunt , bialtabe , alwahid aldhy laeib maeaha wamazih maeaha , walakun daymana dun tajawuz hadin mueayan , fi al’iima’at walkulimati. lkn ‘aeyanuna kanat daymana tanzur ‘iilaa ma wara’ kli alhudud. lm yakun hunak hadun lahum.
dhat sabah dhahabat litaslim alshahnat watawaqafat ‘amam almutajar , waeindama ratani , wadaeat lafitatan wadhahabt limuqabalati fi alsaalati. mada yadah li wasalamuni mzrwfana yatlub miniy ‘an ‘uetiha ‘iilaa rayiysi. wa’awdah ‘anaha kanat daewat lihafl zifafih aldhy sayakun baed eshryn yawma. qult ‘iinani sa’aqum bitaslimiha bikuli sirur waistadarat waeadat ‘iilaa almutajarr. la ‘aerif ma aldhy ‘asabani fi dhalik alwaqti. laqad taradtha lltw wasa’altha , faj’at , nazarat fi eaynayha “hl sabaq lak ‘an qablataha ealaa aldrj?” nazart ‘iilay bijadiat , wa’ajabata: “neam , lkn huna , abdana”. kalaana dahk wadhahabt litaqdiamih.
fi tariq eawdati tawaqafat eind almutjar waintazarat ‘an takhdim ahd aleumla’. akhyrana , eindama kunaa wahudna , qult , “s’antazirk hunak ,” ‘adarat zahri waghadart. tawaqafat eind nuqtat ealaa aldurj waintazarat zuhuruha.
lm ymd waqt tawil qabl ‘an ‘araha tamshi bbt’ ealaa aldrj , wlkn bila rayb , dun alnazar ‘iilaa aljanib , dun ‘ayi taradad , dun ‘an tabdu ghyr aminatan ‘aw khayf. eindama aiqtarab min makanah , ftht albab aldhy kan ytky ealayh washrt ‘iilayh baldkhwl. kunna fi ghurfat saghirat tama aistikhdamuha kwdyet llkaftyrya walati kan ladaya almftah mnha. fi alddakhil , kunaa nasmae alnaas yusaeidun ‘aw ynzlwn alslm. thuma neanq bsmt wnqbl. fi albidayat kanat qiblatan khafifat , aietiraf , aqtrab. lkn srean ma bada’at alsntna maerakat fi afwahna , ttlwa , tadfae , kl wahid yurid abtlae alakhr. laqad tqlsna lidarajat ‘anana shqna ‘anfusina tqrybana. kan qdyby yazdad sueubatan lidarajat ‘anah kan min almustahil ealayha ‘alaa tasheur ‘anah kan ydght ealaa saqyha. bbt’ shadid ‘akhadhtuha fi ydha , wabaynama kunaa nqblha , kanat taleab biha , wtdght ealayha , wtshdha. qumt bfk daght srwaly wa’akhadhat qdyby wanhnt wabada’at balamtsas walleq walble bshghf wakathir min alfyat. laqad qumt bdrb athda’ha , walati kunt qad shbtha balfel min sdryty wrkdt ydy ealaa mwkhrtha. wadaeat ydy dakhil shwrtha wqmt btneym bwsha , walleb biha , wtrk ‘isbey ydaeb shftyha almmtlytyn , waldaght brfq ealaa bzrha. dun ‘an takun qadiratan hataa ealaa anyn , dghtt eali , waghmdt eynyha , wartjft , wtrted bsrwr. dun ‘an ynbs bbnt shft , khle srwalh alqasir wsrawylh alddakhiliat , watka ealaa qfs ealaa atrafh alarbet , wfrd saqyh , warafae qdyby , watka ealaa ksh. laqad dssth bishakl mmte wmarsh biharakat ‘iyqaeyt baynama kanat ttdhrj wtdfe wtrbyt mwkhrtha wajaealat dyky yati wydhhb. hataa jyna. lm yrna ahd nghadr. akhbrtny ‘anaha lm tumaras aljins ‘iilaa min qibal khtybha.
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