We asked BuzzFeed readers what their most embarrassing sex stories were. Below, some of the answers:

  1. The dramatic announcement:
    “My husband and I were having sex against a wall in a dark room when I suddenly hit the switch. When the light lit up the room, I looked him in the eye and said, ‘May there be light!’ … Needless to say, we didn’t go all the way that night. “
  • Alyssa Favel
  • 2The unfortunate spot:
    “I once masturbated my boyfriend and he ejaculated on me. Then we cleaned everything up (or so we thought). That afternoon, I went to my grandmother’s house and it was only when I sat down next to my family that I noticed that there was part of his sperm splashed on my black shirt. I can only say that I received many suspicious looks. “
  • Mica Dobarro
  • 3The understanding grandpa:
    “I lived with my grandparents and was dating a guy. My grandparents went out to buy ice cream, and my boyfriend and I said we would be at home ‘watching a movie’. We were having sex naked and without covers, when, suddenly, I hear a : ‘Calm down, guys!’ My grandfather was standing at the door holding two ice creams. We went under the covers, he came over, handed us the ice creams and left. “
  • Kydee Franck
  • 4The cowboy:
    “Once a friend of mine got me a guy who was very handsome, but not my style. We decided to have a picnic in a park and one hour he approached me to hug me. I left. That’s when he looked around, saw that there was no one around and took off his pants in less than two seconds, getting a leopard print pants and his cowboy boots. I don’t know how the boots looked today. So I said no, I found the nearest public phone and I asked my cousin to come and get me.
  • N Bennie
  • 5The explosive sex:
    “I had gone out with my best friend, and at the end of the night, we decided to go out for food. While I was getting a sandwich, I started talking to a guy. I asked him to come over to my house and we started having sex. because of the mix of alcohol and sandwich, I started to feel really bad and threw up on him. Somehow we ended up dating for almost eight months. “
  • Emily Alexander
  • 6The Shark incident:
    “We were going to the second round early in the morning the next day, when he looks down and sees a lot of blood … My period had come by surprise. After showering and lying in bed, my boyfriend said, ‘It was as if a shark had attacked my dick! ‘. It was at that moment that I realized that he was a guy to marry. “
  • Jessica Richardson
  • 7The strangled:
    “He had a huge cock, only the condom was very small. So he had to stop right in the middle of the sex because the condom was cutting off the blood circulation. When he took the condom off, the dick was blue. He almost passed out and , of course, we did nothing else that night. “
  • Maria Pantoja
  • 8This disastrous first time:
    “I lost my virginity when I was 21. The guy kept telling me that he had the big dick and how lucky I was (spoiler: if he keeps saying that, it’s probably not true). During sex, he paused to put a documentary to have some background sound, but he kept making comments about the documentary in the middle of sex. When it was over, he pulled a bottle of vodka from under the bed along with a bottle of Fanta. He handed it to Fanta and started to drink vodka. To this day, I can’t drink Fanta without remembering. “
  • Amber Schmidt
  • 9The jaw-dropping experience:
    “Once a guy was having oral sex on me, and when he went up for a breath, he couldn’t speak !. He couldn’t move his jaw anymore! We spent hours massaging his face to try to unlock it, but nothing worked. So, at 6 am, I called an ambulance, and when they inevitably asked what had happened, said that he had ‘yawned with his mouth wide open’ and dislocated his jaw. When we got to the ER, the doctor put his jaw back at the place.”
  • Kylie Doran

  • Note: responses were edited for size and / or clarity.

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